Broken

A twisted sense of life, love, sex, and friendship.  When the heart is broken we lose the way to love in a healthy manner.  My understanding of what it feels like to be a vessel to the broken has made my heart more compassionate but it still hurts.  Knowing you has challenged me to grow more open in mind and heart, to look outside myself. 

When you hurt or have been hurt by someone, the mind, heart continuum engages in a sort of battle, where the mind seeks solace in wanting to hurt back. Then the heart takes over trying to find reason not to.  Call it conditioning from an early age when we didn’t have control over our emotions and reactions. The instinct is to strike back. Learning to be aware of this condition, to just stop engagement, giving yourself time to heal.   It takes practice each and everyday.  Some days we win, some we lose, it’s the cost of being human and not perfect.

I look forward to continuing this journey, to just revel in its pureness.  

~T~

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Try

Each day I try to let go of all the things my mind want to hold on to

practice practice practice

returning to meditation…the answers are there…

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Evening arrives

Filtered through the mini blinds

the setting sun ☀️

slowly fads into to the blue, black night

~T~

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Warriors of Light

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An unexpected dream

In my dream you came out of no where, I hadn’t been thinking of you at all, and then you were there…and now you are gone….

~T~

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THE LITTLE SOUL & THE SUN

Once upon no time there was a Little Soul who said to God, “I know who I am!” And God said, “That’s wonderful! Who are you?” And the Little Soul shouted, “I’m the Light!” God smiled a big smile, “That’s right!” God exclaimed. “You are the Light.” 

 

The Little Soul was so happy, for it had figured out what all the souls in the Kingdom were there to figure out. “Wow,” said the Little Soul, “this is really cool!” But soon, knowing who it was was not enough. The Little Soul felt stirrings inside, and now wanted to be who it was. 

 

And so the Little Soul went back to God (which is not a bad idea for all souls who want to be Who They Really Are) and said, “Hi, God! Now that I know Who I Am, is it okay for me to be it?” And God said, “You mean you want to be Who You Already Are? “Well,” replied the Little Soul, “it’s one thing to know Who I Am, and another thing altogether to actually be it.

 

I want to feel what it’s like to be the Light!” “But you already are the Light,” God repeated, smiling again. “Yes, but I want to see what that feels like!” cried the Little Soul. “Well,” said God with a chuckle, “I suppose I should have known. You always were the adventuresome one.” Then God’s expression changed. “There’s only one thing…” “What?” asked the Little Soul. “Well, there is nothing else but the Light. You see, I created nothing but what you are; and so, there is no easy way for you to experience yourself as Who You Are, since there is nothing that you are not.”

 

“Huh?” said the Little Soul, who was not a little confused. “Think of it this way,” said God. “You are like a candle in the Sun. Oh, you’re there all right. Along with a million, ka-gillion other candles who make up the Sun. And the sun would not be the Sun without you. Nay, it would be a sun without one of its candles…and that would not be the Sun at all; for it would not shine as brightly. 

 

Yet, how to know yourself as the Light when you are amidst the Light–that is the question.” “Well,” the Little Soul perked up, “you’re God. Think of something!” Once more God smiled. “I already have,” God said. “Since you cannot see yourself as the Light when you are in the Light, we’ll surround you with darkness.” 

 

“What’s darkness?” the Little Soul asked. God replied, “It is that which you are not.” “Will I be afraid of the dark?” cried the Little Soul. “Only if you choose to be,” God answered. “There is nothing, really, to be afraid of, unless you decide that there is. You see, we are making it all up. We are pretending.” “Oh,” said the Little Soul, and felt better already. 

 

Then God explained that, in order to experience anything at all, the exact opposite of it will appear. “It is a great gift,” God said, “because without it, you could not know what anything is like. You could not know Warm without Cold, Up without Down, Fast without Slow. You could not know Left without Right, Here without There, Now without Then.” 

 

“And so,” God concluded, “when you are surrounded with darkness, do not shake your fist and raise your voice and curse the darkness. Rather be a Light unto the darkness, and don’t be mad about it. Then you will know Who You Really Are, and all others will know, too. Let your Light shine so that everyone will know how special you are!” “You mean it’s okay to let others see how special I am?” asked the Little Soul. “Of course!” God chuckled. “It’s very okay! But remember, ‘special’ does not mean ‘better.’ 

 

Everybody is special, each in their own way! Yet many others have forgotten that. They will see that it is okay for them to be special only when you see that it is okay for you to be special.” “Wow,” said the Little Soul, dancing and skipping and laughing and jumping with joy. “I can be as special as I want to be!” “Yes, and you can start right now,” said God, who was dancing and skipping and laughing right along with the Little Soul. 

 

“What part of special do you want to be?” “What part of special?” the Little Soul repeated. “I don’t understand.” “Well,” God explained, “being the Light is being special, and being special has a lot of parts to it. It is special to be kind. It is special to be gentle. It is special to be creative. It is special to be patient. Can you think of any other ways it is special to be?” 

 

The Little Soul sat quietly for a moment. “I can think of lots of ways to be special!” the Little Soul then exclaimed. “It is special to be helpful. It is special to be sharing. It is special to be friendly. It is special to be considerate of others!” “Yes!” God agreed, “and you can be all of those things, or any part of special you wish to be, at any moment. That’s what it means to be the Light.” 

 

“I know what I want to be, I know what I want to be!” the Little Soul announced with great excitement. “I want to be the part of special called ‘forgiving’. Isn’t it special to be forgiving?” “Oh, yes,” God assured the Little Soul. “That is very special.” “Okay,” said the Little Soul. “That’s what I want to be. I want to be forgiving. I want to experience myself as that.” “Good,” said God, “but there’s one thing you should know.” The Little Soul was becoming a bit impatient now. It always seemed as though there were some complication.

 

“What is it?” the Little Soul sighed. “There is no one to forgive.” “No one?” The Little Soul could hardly believe what had been said. “No one!” God repeated. “Everything I have made is perfect. There is not a single soul in all creation less perfect than you. Look around you.” It was then that the Little Soul realized a large crowd had gathered. 

 

Souls had come from far and wide ~ from all over the Kingdom ~ for the word had gone forth that the Little Soul was having this extraordinary conversation with God, and everyone wanted to hear what they were saying. Looking at the countless other souls gathered there, the Little Soul had to agree. None appeared less wonderful, less magnificent, or less perfect than the Little Soul itself. Such was the wonder of the souls gathered around, and so bright was their Light, that the Little Soul could scarcely gaze upon them. 

 

“Who, then, to forgive?” asked God. “Boy, this is going to be no fun at all!” grumbled the Little Soul. “I wanted to experience myself as One Who Forgives. I wanted to know what that part of special felt like.” And the Little Soul learned what it must feel like to be sad. But just then a Friendly Soul stepped forward from the crowd. “Not to worry, Little Soul,” the Friendly Soul said, “I will help you.” “You will?” the Little Soul brightened. “But what can you do?” 

 

“Why, I can give you someone to forgive!” “You can?” “Certainly!” chirped the Friendly Soul. “I can come into your next lifetime and do something for you to forgive.” “But why? Why would you do that?” the Little Soul asked. “You, who are a Being of such utter perfection! You, who vibrate with such a speed that it creates a Light so bright that I can hardly gaze upon you! 

 

What could cause you to want to slow down your vibration to such a speed that your bright Light would become dark and dense? What could cause you ~ who are so light that you dance upon the stars and move through the Kingdom with the speed of your thought–to come into my life and make yourself so heavy that you could do this bad thing?” 

 

“Simple,” the Friendly Soul said. “I would do it because I love you.” The Little Soul seemed surprised at the answer. “Don’t be so amazed,” said the Friendly Soul, “you have done the same thing for me. Don’t you remember? Oh, we have danced together, you and I, many times. Through the eons and across all the ages have we danced. Across all time and in many places have we played together. You just don’t remember.” 

 

“We have both been All Of It. We have been the Up and the Down of it, the Left and the Right of it. We have been the Here and the There of it, the Now and the Then of it. We have been the male and the female, the good and the bad; we have both been the victim and the villain of it.” “Thus have we come together, you and I, many times before; each bringing to the other the exact and perfect opportunity to Express and to Experience Who We Really Are. And so,” the Friendly Soul explained further, “I will come into your next lifetime and be the ‘bad one’ this time. I will do something really terrible, and then you can experience yourself as the One Who Forgives.” 

 

“But what will you do?” the Little Soul asked, just a little nervously, “that will be so terrible?” “Oh,” replied the Friendly Soul with a twinkle, “we’ll think of something.” Then the Friendly Soul seemed to turn serious, and said in a quiet voice, “You are right about one thing, you know.” “What is that?” the Little Soul wanted to know. “I will have to slow down my vibration and become very heavy to do this not-so-nice thing. I will have to pretend to be something very unlike myself. And so, I have but one favor to ask of you in return.” 

 

“Oh, anything, anything!” cried the Little Soul, and began to dance and sing, “I get to be forgiving, I get to be forgiving!” Then the Little Soul saw that the Friendly Soul was remaining very quiet. “What is it?” the Little Soul asked. “What can I do for you? You are such an angel to be willing to do this for me!” “Of course this Friendly Soul is an angel!” God interrupted. “Everyone is! Always remember: I have sent you nothing but angels.” 

 

And so the Little Soul wanted more than ever to grant the Friendly Soul’s request. “What can I do for you?” the Little Soul asked again. “In the moment that I strike you and smite you,” the Friendly Soul replied, “in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could possible imagine ~ in that very moment…” “Yes?” the Little Soul interrupted, “yes…?” 

 

“Remember Who I Really Am.” “Oh, I will!” cried the Little Soul, “I promise! I will always remember you as I see you right here, right now!” “Good,” said the Friendly Soul, “because, you see, I will have been pretending so hard, I will have forgotten myself. And if you do not remember me as I really am, I may not be able to remember for a very long time. 

 

And if I forget Who I Am, you may even forget Who You Are, and we will both be lost. Then we will need another soul to come along and remind us both of Who We Are.” “No, we won’t!” the Little Soul promised again. “I will remember you! And I will thank you for bringing me this gift ~ the chance to experience myself as Who I Am.” And so, the agreement was made. 

 

And the Little Soul went forth into a new lifetime, excited to be the Light, which was very special, and excited to be that part of special called Forgiveness. And the Little Soul waited anxiously to be able to experience itself as Forgiveness, and to thank whatever other soul made it possible. 

 

And at all the moments in that new lifetime, whenever a new soul appeared on the scene, whether that new soul brought joy or sadness–and especially if it brought sadness–the Little Soul thought of what God had said. “Always remember,” God had smiled, “I have sent you nothing but angels.” 

 

by Neale Donald Walsch, “Conversations With God”

 

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What Women Find Sexy in a Man

Women are not as hard to please as men think. We just crave a depth of character and soul that requires a man’s awareness and effort. Every woman wants a man who cares about being the best version of himself he can possibly be – THAT’S what’s sexy!

Even if a man strives for his potential and doesn’t actualize it but TRIES and does the best he can, THAT IS HOT TOO!

It’s the men that don’t try, the men that don’t care, and require someone to whoop their ass into gear that are just as sad as Country Songs on repeat.

Evolved Women know what we want and don’t want. We’ve spent countless years and relationships figuring it out. So, let’s talk about the good stuff. Let’s talk about what Evolved women REALLY want in a man!

1). PRESENCE

The greatest gift you can give a woman is your presence. Presence is different than attention, it means your WHOLE BEING is engaged. Your heart and soul are in your eyes, emanating through every fiber of your being. A woman never has to wonder or ask where you are, she knows. She can feel you. You are right there, connected to yourself, nature, you’re masculine and the feminine, both within yourself and women. When you have presence you show up, drop in, invest and give of yourself.

A man with presence is connected to his soul and his heart and it shows. A man who has presence has so much presence that even when he is not with you, you know he’s with you. 

2). HUMOR

Is there anything better than laughing until your sides hurt? A man who has a good sense of humor, who doesn’t  take himself or life so seriously is a great asset to a woman. Life is full of heavy demands and things that weigh you down.

Humor allows a woman to see your wit, your take on life and the things that amuse you. The more you share your inner muse with a woman and let it rip, get her giggling and light, your dynamic will prosper. LET YOUR INNER COMEDIAN OUT.

3). R-E-S-P-E-C-T

A man who understands respect knows how to communicate and LISTEN. He operates from a place of respect for himself and is able to extend his respect outward to others more easily than a man who is not respected or feels threatened.

A respectful man is not ruled by his own selfish impulses. He is not afraid and he is able to act in a way that doesn’t violate a woman’s boundaries. If a woman asks a respectful man to honor her request he will without question. A man who respects himself doesn’t need to demand respect. He already has it.

4). PURPOSEFUL CONFIDENCE

When you are a man who embodies his warrior’s spirit you don’t whine when your ego gets bruised. You don’t blame and shout, “Well, what about women? What about all their flaws?”

When you embody your inner warrior you are a MAN who has harnessed his animal spirit and knows the sacredness of protecting the earth, women and children. A modern man who displays a Warrior Spirit is an Awakened Man.

When you are a warrior you are at peace with nature. You LOVE and HONOR women. You do not compete with women. A warrior fights for what is fundamentally right and doesn’t waste his time with nonsense arguments that only serve to sustain EGO.

A Warrior is a MAN of TRUE HONOR and INTEGRITY. He exists in every single man on this earth, but only a few have the COURAGE to activate the WARRIOR within. Women will stand next to Warrior’s till the end of time and will never stop looking for the Warrior in MEN. A warrior is a TRUE MAN.

5). SPIRIT & VISION

A man with vision wants to be the best version of himself and has a sense of pride in what he does. Women love men with vision because they care, they try and they’re always working towards a better version of themselves.

There is nothing like a man who likes to have a good time, who wants to live a big life and craves adventure. A man with an adventurous spirit will get a woman out her comfort zone and dancing with the natives.

Life can get so monotonous and ordinary, but eventually it lacks the level of passion and intrigue you all seek to feel ALIVE. A man with an adventurous spirit is impassioned by life and experience, which bodes well for a woman who likes to live and taste the extraordinary.

6). WISDOM & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

A man with a mind and the ability to FEEL and articulate his emotions is the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. A man who can self reflect and see a greater reality beyond himself is AWAKE. A man with an emotionally intelligent mind has vision, ideas, dreams, ambition, and drive.

These desires come from his heart and less from his head. A man with a mind is far more likely to be reasonable and intriguing. A man who talks and thinks, and wants to unravel and unearth things is magnetic and intoxicating to listen to.

7). ATTITUDE

Attitude is EVERYTHING to a woman. No matter what a woman throws at a man, if he’s got a good attitude he is less likely to be reactive and more like to get to the bottom of what is really going on. He doesn’t bark back like a baby, he tries to understand what is what and process the situation. He reads in between the lines and doesn’t take things as personally as reactive short tempered men.

Men with a good attitude typically have good style, taste, and they are NOT CHEAP. These men don’t cut corners. How they do anything is how they do everything and THEY KNOW IT and TAKE PRIDE IN WHAT AND HOW THEY DO WHAT THEY DO.

8). HE’S HANDY

A man who can fix it is SEXAY! A man who might not be great at something but tries anyway, or a man who might have far to grow but is willing to accept adversity and challenge and overcome obstacles is a CAPABLE MAN. Capable men are cat nip to women.

A man who can fix the most random things, or a man who knows how to create something out of nothing is like a magician. Fixing things is masculine and for some reason women find irresistible. A capable man who shows that he doesn’t need to be nagged to know what he must do is virtually irresistible.

9). HE HAS AN EDGE

Let’s face it, no one likes boring. No passion, no edge, no fire, no spice might as well be a cardboard cut out of a man. A man with no edge is like a wet towel on your fire. Women like men that keep them on their toes. A man with edge is up for anything. He’s not just some bump on a log on the couch night after night.

This one is no doormat. He’s the guy who is chasing you in the rain at 2 in the morning. He’s the guy who will get you to skinny dip anywhere. He is the kind of man that keeps it interesting and mixes it up. A man with an edge is strong willed and will take you to the ends of the earth.

Kelly Marceau www.facebook.com/consciouslyawakewomen

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